Never Lies

I am a piece of shit.
I would rather be dead than sit here in guilt and watch others suffer around me, because of me.
The only thing I can say, that is completely genuine is.
If I could I would take it back.
But because I didn't think it through, because I was stupid, because I was wrapped up in my own thoughts I ruined something that could have been.
I'm sorry.

been a while

since i've posted.
nothing really much to say..

I haven't changed much, because people don't change, only change opinions. Either been persuaded or seen a different view.

I'm happy, but so very lonely.
I can admit that everything is not perfect.
I'm missing something, or someone.

I've come to realise how much people around me mean to me, and how much they affect my life in the most unbelievable ways.
I've also come to realise how much people I don't care about affect me even more, because I'm too worried about them rather than myself.
Even though they don't mean anything to me, in my mind.
They mean everything to me in the way they affect who I am, and what I'm becoming.
Time to stop.

slow

down.
getting let down everywhere i turn.
why bother?

confessional

as for me.
i really don't give a fuck anymore.
i'm living for myself, i don't care about anyone else apart from family.
friends come and go, and true friends turn out lost friends.
i'm not apart of this game, i'm making my own.

I try not to think about it
I wish there was someone better
I know for a fact I'll never feel that emotion toward someone again
I'm prepared to live alone but not prepared to forget you.

Lyrics.

Wipe those tears from your fucking face
This isn't another song filled with lies told to my face
I wish I never loved you

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger
And I will never die from a broken heart

When everything is all said and done
You'll be the one who comes back to me
Well fuck that, you turned your back on me
So fuck you, I'm moving on.

Artist: Carpathian
Song: Love Song
Album: Nothing To Lose (2006)

ponder

time isn't going to move forward with me holding it back.
acceptance

Blinded

by lies

Your fool

Right now I'm feeling apart of your push to become a better person, not any good for me, but for you it is.
I'm not talking the better person as in, happy, sincere, etc. I'm talking the person who is in everyone's eyes as 'cool'.
You wanted to change you life, change your circumstance, change your values/priorities. Yet you've done nothing more than repeat what you did before, I'll warn you, I'll point out the obvious. That is all a 'real' friend can do but when it comes to the point when you become nothing more than what you were, getting nothing out of this 'change', I won't be the one to stand there and say 'I told you so'. I'll be the one moving forward, leaving you behind, because that is where you belong.

Light

I'm too inquisitive

Problems

everyone have problems
no matter how big or small
no matter their reaction
no matter their pain
we are all human
we all understand
no one is alone, why even contemplate that?

getting by

slowly.

successful?

I beat my ego.
But not my negativity.
Happiness is what I seek

Someone

Sometimes I wish, wait most times I wish, I was a completely different person.
Born the way I am?
Not born, grown into the way I am.
Not happy with what I've become, but I can change.
Time to change is slipping away and I'm too used to being who I've become, but who I've become is someone I hate, someone I dread, someone I..

reality

Humans, evolve or die off.
What are we becoming, if anything we will kill ourselves off, to perish.

I will always be one step ahead of you in this game we call life. I will win. Your nothing but a 'victim' in your world. But reality will step in and you will realise, you fucked up, from the start, your ego is too big, nothing but a waste of space.

reality is here, reality is now, your going nowhere but backwards.